in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
