Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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