just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
