North Korea, Best Korea!
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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