I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
