i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Randomize
