I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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