Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
