What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
