In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
