we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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