Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The uberlube is also flammable
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
