He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
These tits shall not be calmed
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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