That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
