I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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