Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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