I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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