sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
They have beer where we have blood.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
