I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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