Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
