awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
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I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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