Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
