And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
