She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So squirting runs in the family.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
