Just cropdusted the office
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
