Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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