she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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