my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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