why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize