Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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