I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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