I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just want nice things and good sex
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize