She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
