Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
