Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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