grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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