Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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