I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I want to fling myself into the sun
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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