So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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