I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
