I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm too high and old for this...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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