I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
BRING THE BAGELS
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
