There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
