If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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