Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize