I bet he comes in French.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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