So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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