I didn't shave. On purpose
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
