she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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