obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize