I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
