sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
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He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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