I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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