Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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