At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
