Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
