hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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