so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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